Gym Rats

A gym rat is caught in the act of carbo-loading.

A gym rat is caught in the act of carbo-loading.

Gym rats (rattus gymasium), are a new species in the zoological world; some scientists have quibbled with the designation of gym rats as a new species, arguing that they do not in fact demonstrate the fundamental, inherent physiognomic differences neccesary to make a special distinction. Others, however, argue that the gym rat can be differentiated from the rest of genus Rattus on the basis of its habitat and behaviors. For instance,  notoriously picky eaters, gym rats tend to prefer a protien-rich diet, making them more carnivorous than many other rats, who tend towards indiscriminate omnivorism.  In terms of social behavior, gym rats are social animals: gym rats tend to gather in common areas, weherin they perform their daily routines with an eye for the performance of rats around them.  Highly competitive creatures,  submissive gym rats have been known to modify their appearances and behavior to conform to the patterns preferred by the dominant rats within their territories, resorting at times to self-mutilation to achieve their desired results. Little is known about the home lives of these creatures, for scientests are still puzzling over their public behaviors.

Oddly, while animal-rights advocates have long been vehemently opposed to animal testing on genus rattus, they seem unfazed by the pharmaceutical industry’s long-term clandestine relationship with gym rats. On the other hand, there are those amongst us that share territories with gym rats, who have taken up the name as a  joke, and still others who have adopted the name as a rebellion against what they feel is a perjorative term, meant to discrimiante against those who can bench-press their own bodyweight, and enjoy the aesthetic effect of floor-to ceiling mirrors. To date, however, the gym rats themselves have been too occupied with their own reflections to organize in protest.

  

 

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1 Comment

Filed under common household pets, parasites, Phobia-inducing, the strange and the beautiful, Uncategorized

One response to “Gym Rats

  1. Ram Venkatararam

    The gym rats are nothing. Ratticus Conveniencus are worse. My store is crawling with them.

    Thanks for the post.

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