Monthly Archives: February 2010

Giant Shark: P. mortoni Discovered in Kansas

Scientists recently discovered a gigantic jawbone, teeth and scales, which, along with being a breakthough for the scientific community in general, also has personal significance for one of the author of BV’s ex boyfriends, if the lead scientest’s descriptions are to be trusted. This predator (ahem), a “sluggish bottom-dwelling shark” (ah, ahem) has long been recognized by the scientific community, but it’s size, in an ironic change of pace for most men, was actually underestimated. Ahem. Dr Kenshu Shimada of DePaul University in Chicago, Illinois, discovered the fossilized remains of P. mortoni in the Fort Hays Limestone in Kansas. According to Shimada, “Kansas back then was smack in the middle of an inland sea known as the Western Interior Seaway that extended in a north-south direction across North America.” Representatives from Kansas have had the following response to the news: “Damn, you mean if I’d lived here a million years ago, I could have had an oceanfront property?” Shimada and his team attribute the extinction of this massive creature to the same environmental factors that killed the dinosaurs- including the shrinking of this giant inland sea. But the author of BV knows better, dear readers. If it wasn’t a disgruntled ex girlfriend, it was the diminishing real estate prices that killed ‘em.

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Filed under extinct species, human behavior, marine life, Uncategorized

Join BV in Boycotting the Giant Hornet


The author of BV very rarely finds cause to protest the very existence of a member of the animal kingdom, but in the case of the Japanese Giant Hornet (vespa mandarinia japonica), she will make an exception. This bug  is very simply cheating at scrabble. Colloquially known as the “yak killer” (!! one shudders to think), this little thumb-sized monster’s 1/4 inch long stinger  is equipped not only with flesh-eating/ neurotoxic  venom, but also with pheremones proven irresistable to other hornets. Which  then join in the feast. The gist? You do not, dear readers, want to get stung by a giant hornet. Ever. Ever.

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Filed under Phobia-inducing, Uncategorized