Category Archives: pink animal league

Cockatoo love song

 

Cockatoos are known for their intelligence, their vocality, their general precociousness. And this bird, apparently going by the nomiker S. Elvis, is no exception. One might wonder where he came up with this particular mantra, but then…

In the author’s humble opinion, it is likely that every woman (and a fair number of men) has had this experience: you’re having a nice evening with your significant other, watching some television, when said mate begins to harrangue you with demands to “RUB the bird!!! RUB the BIRD!!!”

 

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Filed under common household pets, human behavior, pink animal league, the strange and the beautiful, Uncategorized

I dig on Swine… Hackers?

pig_1

The author woudl like to draw your attention, dear readers, to these porcine smartypants. Smartypanteses? In any case.  Also note the swingin’ soundtrack.

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Guinea Pigs: A Rant

I come to you tonight, dear readers, with a bone to pick. The bone in question bellongs to the common practice of naming that has brought nothing but confusion and misery.Take the guinea pig.

Neither a pig nor from Guinea, the poor little rodents have been subjected to medical testing, have been a food source for the andean people since time immemorial, and have, most recently, been subjected to the most humiliting of indignities: competitive breeding and showing. And they do not look remotely like pigs. Consider the following images :

 

 

 

One is hairy, yes? The other, not so much. One has a pink snout, the other prominant whiskers. 
 …and yet… the cavy family is, structurally speaking, pig-like, with heads large in relation to their bodies,  thick necks, and “rounded rumps with no tail of any consequence”…and they do pierce the ears with unpleasantly porcine squeals….  And anyone who has ever owned and/or known a Guinea pigs knows that they do  spend an inordinate amount of time eating…

…and the Andeans, who keep them in cages next to the stove, claim that they are really quite tasty…

nevertheless. The name is asinine and we should not stand for it.

 But lest you think that the author of BV loves the cuddly cava itself any less than the other members of our natural world, I have an adorable video picked out for you, of Guinea pigs swimming in a bathtub. Entirely adorable. Far more so than a pig would be in the same circumstances.

The author does not know what the folkes in this video are saying, but she sincerely hopes that they aren’t reciting a recipe for guinea pig stew.

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The Pop-Culture Guide to Swine flu

2974_88784954704_18807449704_1705896_1952424_n1 

The purpose of BV has always been to inform, and now the author feels called upon to clear up some misconceptions floating around about the swine flu epidemic. We’ll start with a brief “scene from a  paparazzi”:

******************************************************************************************************************************

[exterior, Day. A celebutant stands on the sidewalk in Los Angeles] 

photographer: “[Paris!]You worried about the swine flu Paris? It’s killing a lot of people in Mexico”

 Hilton:       [extended pause] …  “I don’t eat that.”

 *****************************************************************************************************************************

 

Some of you might be saying “well, Paris isn’t as dumb as she looks! This is a sign that we shouldn’t be eating pig!”  But you all may need to brush up on your Pulp Fiction: 

 

 

 

Besides, the swine flu, like all other flu varieties, is highly contagious but is spread primarily through contact with an infected individual. The CDC has a detailed brochure explaining the ins and outs of swine flu, including reasonable means of prevention and pharmaceutical options:  http://www.cdc.gov/swineflu/pdf/brochure.pdf

…and this brochure is very clear that provided you heat them to the requisite internal temperature of 160 degrees, your beloved chops and belly are always…

 

 

 So Paris, you can go back to eating pork… hell, you can go back to eating, because despite your misinformation, the author of BV is here to tell you that just as you will not catch the avian flu from eating chicken, you will not get the pig flu from eating pork. 

But regardless of it’s charm, if you go around licking an infected pig’s  snout, you’re on your own, kid.

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hairless cat: nothing but pink parts

hairless_cat

The Sphynx, also known as the Canadian hairless cat,  has skin the texture of Chamois leather, often covered with “peach fuzz, which displays the markings that the fur would have (were there any). Hairless cats, while follicularly challenged, come in all manner of feline variations (solid, point, van, tabby, tortie, etc). Without the barrier of an insulating coat,  the hairless cat’s velvety skin  feels warm to the touch.  

Known for their extroverted behavior, hairless cats are highly energetic and intelligent. Like all cats, hairless cats  are guilty of near-fatal  curiosity, but make up for their hijinks by demonstrating unparalleled affection for their people.

Indeed, ladies, the next time something warm and hairless rubs up against your leg under the covers, you might want to think twice before hurling the alarm clock at the head of your amorous mate: because the sphynx has no hair to keep it warm, it can often be found cuddling up against its owners under the covers.

 

Finally, the author of BV would like to subit that despite an arguably creepy adult appearance, hairless kittens are, to use the technical term,  pretty goddamn cute. 

2_week-old_female_sphynx_28suki29

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Pink Fairy Armadillo

the diminutive pink fairy armadillo, pictured here in captivity, is considered thretened in the wild.

the diminutive pink fairy armadillo, pictured here in captivity, is considered threatened in the wild.

The next member of our pink animal brigade is the pink fairy armadillo (Chlamyphorus truncatus), a diminutive member of genus Chlamyphorus native to South America.  At about 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 inches long (excluding the tail), the pink fairy armadillo is the smallest of the armadillo family.

It is not difficult, therefore, to see how the pink fairy armadillo earned its name: it is tiny (as are fairies), and yes, pink. But where do they get these names? A baby pink fairy armadillo is called a ‘pup,’ (okay)  the females are called ‘zeds’ and males ‘listers’ (eh?); and  a group of pink fairy armadillos is called a ‘fez’. Yes, a “fez.” Like one of these things:

fes

… proving that scientists are sometimes stranger than the animals they study.

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pink elephant: not just a figment of your imagination

this rare pink elephant, probably an albino, was recently spotted in botswana
The next pink animal to grace our fair page is this charming little pink elephant. Scientists say that he is probably an albino, but the discerning readers of BV (all several of you. ahem.) will likely join the author in her suspicion that his coloring is a direct result of the night of debauchery that concieved him.

Of course,  this rosy-toned pachyderm is *so* cute that  the author hopes you will not hold his inillustrious conception against him, and will cross your fingers, pray, and/or do an interpretive dance for  his survival under the hot african sun, which, experts caution, may lead to blindness and skin problems for the calf.  

We’re behind you, little pink elephant. And we will likely see you tonight after a tipple or two.

cf. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nwNPaYoTY8
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7951331.stm

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