Tag Archives: gay marriage

No, It’s not a Typo; It’s the “Cock” of Dawn.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have  Chinese folklore to thank for next entry: the celestial cock, aka the “cock of dawn.”

<< The author respects all cultures and will not resort to infantile murrmerings about the word “cock”. But, dear readers, it’s gonna be difficult.>>

The Cock of Dawn, or so it is said, is a “magnificent golden three-legged cock” <<ahem>>.  According to myth,  he lives in the mile-high Fu-Sang tree in the Land of Sunrise.  It is believed that he is the ancestor of all worldly cocks <<ah-ahem>>, that he crows exactly three times a day (to mark the sunrise, zenith, and sunset) and that his red comb signifies the sunrise.

According to a legend  describing the conjunction of yin and yang, the God of the immortals (Tung-hua Ti-chun) gave this bird to a lucky fellow named Shen-i, who rode the back of the celestial cock <<oh, come now, we are all mature adults here, lets be serious>> to the heat of the midday sun, where, it is said, he attained perfect happiness.  Just him and his golden three-legged cock. (Until he set up regular visits with his wife, who was living over on the moon at the time.)

…In all seriousness,  dear readers, it is a lovely story and we should not be swayed from its import by our puritanical, repressed, juvenile obsession with naughty bits. And yet… one cannot help but wonder whether, on the occasional lonely night on the moon, Shen-i’s wife didn’t long for a little celestial cock of her own.

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Filed under folklore, human behavior, rated NC17, the strange and the beautiful, Uncategorized

The life of the leaf-cutter ant: miss lonelyhearts OR sapphic smithii?

 

Leaf-cutter ants, or so they say, are all female. According to a National Geographic article, these ladies “thrive without sex of any kind—ever.”  As evidence of this essential sexlessness, scientists cite the fact that leafcutters have evolved to the point that they reproduce only when queens clone themselves.

Indeed,  one author of the study explains  that the (typically muscular) reproductive organ of the female leafcutter ant (M. smithii)  “has evolved into a ‘sort of a ghost of an organ at this point,'” and that no male of the species has ever been found. Were a male “theoretically to appear somewhere, we’re not sure they could mate any more,” she said.

The author of BV would like to offer a few observations:

1) Some among us would probably chuckle, quipping  that it will be a fine world when human females develop the same ability.

2) But others- the more sexually driven, certainly- would retort that a life “without sex of any kind– ever”   was not nearly worth the benefit of a life without fighting for the remote or the correct arrangement of the toilet seat.

3) And there the debate might end, with the simple conclusion of “I’m glad I’m not an ant” or “I wish I were an ant,”  but for the third group- the more flexible thinkers and those who swing that way- who might question the scientists’ assumption that the lack of males (and even of internal reproductive organs)  neccesarily means a “lack of any kind of sex-ever.”  

Rather denotes a lack of creativity, from a certain standpoint…

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Filed under backyard fauna, gender bending, human behavior, the strange and the beautiful, Uncategorized

Lobster

 

"See... he's your Lobster!"

"He's her Lobster!!!"

 

I’d like to take a break from my organized, logical pursuit of truth in the animal kingdom to talk about something decidedly disorganized and illogical: Marriage. There can be no more appropriate object for today’s topic than Lobsters, which comprise family Nephropidae, sometimes also Homaridae, and are indisputably the most devoted lovers amongst marine crustaceans; “It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life…You can actually see old lobster couples [walking] around their tank… holding claws.” Today is a day for celebrating  two lobsters who have decided to make it official:

to EW and PP, whom I love like family, felicitations on finding, keeping, and cherishing your lobster. I have no doubt that I will see you when you are old and spiny, still holding claws as you walk around your tank.

Much Love,

~sj

 

Cf. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyvRjF0NBeM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQQ8kXfn9Iw&feature=related

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Gay Dinosaurs (extinct)

Dinosaurs (δεινόσαυρος, deinosauros) roamed terrestrial ecosystems  beginning in the  late Triassic period (about 230 million years ago) and throughout the Cretaceous period (65 million years ago), until at the end of the Cretaceous period there occurred an event that incited near-total extinction: the Cretaceous–Tertiary extinction event. Or so goes the traditional story.
 
Now, however, some suggest that a small subset may have brought about the extinction of all dinosaurs: i.e.,  gay dinosaurs. Prehistoric homosexual reptiles formed same-sex pairs, thus failing to produce genetic heirs; these “fruitless” unions, some hypothesize, spelled disaster for all of their dino brethren, though the precise mechanisms of this fatal influence are not known.  Jake Aron’s et. al’s  controversial group “Gay marriage killed the Dinosaurs” has recently brought this issue to light amongst laypeople on a popular social networking site.   The scientific community refuses to comment, but one intrepid intern at a major research facility did manage to leak the following pictures, in which the physiological discrepancies between dinosaurs and gay dinosaurs is readily apparent. These photos prove that with dinosaurs at least, one really can “tell just by looking.”
Triceratops

Triceratops

Gay Dinosaur

Gay Dinosaur

For more information on this topic, see also “Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs”: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=2204465246&ref=nf, and  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony

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